The leaflet slipped innocently through my letter box late one morning. Inside was information about how the area in which I now lived was in discussions to house the UK’s first Geological Disposal Facility.
A Geological Disposal Facility (GDF), I learned, is a series of underground vaults used to store higher activity radioactive waste. The UK needs a solution for its radioactive waste. I don’t know enough to say whether this is the best solution or whether the area in which I live is the right place for it.
But in the nights and weeks that followed, I often fell asleep in tears over the state of the precious planet. How had we got to a point where we had to dig deep down into the beautiful Earth to dump highly toxic waste?
One question repeated itself over and over again in my mind. How can I be here?
All my life I have felt both deeply connected to and deeply alien to this world. Connected to the moon and the stars and the sea and the birds and the flowers. Alien to our modern culture, with its endless pressure to work more, buy more, achieve more.
Being here was feeling increasingly difficult and I could feel myself falling deeper into despair. I needed to find a way of not just struggling through and surviving, but actually thriving and living in a meaningful way. Not despite the problems of the world, but as a response to them.
One evening, an answer bubbled into my heart: Create beauty or die.
That one question and that one answer lit a new spark within me. The options felt clear. Fall deeper into despair. Or reassess and reimagine my life.
It was a call to bring my life fully into alignment with my values. A call to break free from the apathy and despair I was feeling and to take a stand for the things I believed in and cared about. A call to fully commit myself to living the life that felt good and true in my heart.
I needed to pour love and beauty into myself, into my new home, into the Earth around me and into my work.
It meant being more deeply in touch with myself than ever before and more deeply in touch with the spiritual dimension of life. It meant taking the time, every day, to connect to what was important to me and what I wanted to live for.
I long to live in a world where we know how to love ourselves, one another, and the Earth. A world where simplicity, slow living and silence are valued. A world where we can each offer our unique gifts and talents in service of the whole. A world where we are once again deeply connected to our true selves and our true place in the web of life.
Many of us today are in a great deal of pain about the Earth and the myriad global problems we face. In desperation, we are asking ourselves, how can I actually be here?
It’s a question worth asking and sitting with. The answers that come to us through our hearts are what will help lift us out of our despair and take us through a new doorway of purpose and possibility.
They are what will help us not just struggle through and survive, but actually thrive.
Love and courage,
Leah
I feel the SAME way, was just suspended from a job out of nowhere (clearly the universe/god has better for me and my energy was not syncing up & it was starting to feel too materialistic for me) but I too just want to live a slower life and create beauty and promote love! Thinking about getting into waitressing just to keep me afloat, and on the side work on floral art, photography, music, and lyrics/poetry! ❤️
Hello Mallory! I’m sorry to hear about the out-of-the-blue suspension from your job but love that you’re able to see it as an opportunity and potential gift. I’ve had many an enjoyable waitressing job over my life and love the idea of you doing that to keep you going whilst you work on your beautiful creative work. Wishing you many good things to come. xx
I enjoy all of your messages, Leah. So beautifully and vulnerably written. This particular message echoes the sentiments of so many people, myself included. You are absolutely a beacon of light in the world. Thank you, and God bless you.
Thank you so much, Summer. It is always heartening to know the messages are enjoyed and appreciated and I see from your website that you are busy shining your beautiful light too. Thank you for being here, for reading, and taking the time to leave a note. God bless you too.
It’s so good to hear from you! It’s wonderful thought to keep the spirituality up to attain inner sanctity, which is far more rewarding in the long run. The waves of your writings are very much thought provoking. Thank you 🙏
It’s good to hear from you too, Indira! I just realised my email address hasn’t been working, so not sure how much correspondence I may have missed. I agree, now more than ever, I don’t know how we survive without a connection to the spiritual. Sending lots of love to you. xx
Leah, it makes me cry to know you feel the same as me and that there must be others like us. Who just want to live peacefully and kindly with nature and each other. Today’s world is so stressful and worrying. I often wonder and worry what will happen to the world. I just hope that one day the majority of people will be like us. Thank you so much for your emails, they are a beacon of light for me and give me hope and 5 minutes of peace. Sending lots of love and a big hug to you xx
There are definitely others like us! We’re here, I promise. I’m so glad to know my emails offer a little beacon of light and a moment of peace in an often stressful world. Big hug for you too. xx
That’s a very thought-provoking message – as always! – thank you Leah. It brings to mind one of my favourite lines from Dostoyevsky: “Beauty will save the world”. Incidentally, he was born 200 years ago tomorrow! x
Hello Symon! I remembered the Dostoyevsky quote not long after that phrase about create beauty or die came to me and how you’ve quoted it to me on notes and cards before. I feel a whole new connection to it now and a huge motivation for finally reading ‘The Idiot”! xx