“Leave me alone!”
I say to my heart sometimes
and huff off into the other room, hoping
to leave her behind.
She follows, of course
and keeps on with her nagging.
I want her to let me be;
let me do something that makes sense
something with a chance of earning me a living.
Sometimes, I pay her so little attention
she disappears for days at a time.
I get on with things then
secretly missing her but telling myself
it’s for the best.
And just when I think I’ve made some headway
some brilliant plan for a functioning life
she pops up and says
“Write”
First, I shoot her my most awful scowl
then, I cry because
I know she’s right.
So I pick up my pen again
and with the very first word
feel every part of me click
click
click
into alignment
and suddenly, again, it doesn’t matter
how this will ever make a life.
Love and courage,
Leah
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