“Leave me alone!”
I say to my heart sometimes
and huff off into the other room, hoping
to leave her behind.
She follows, of course
and keeps on with her nagging.
I want her to let me be;
let me do something that makes sense
something with a chance of earning me a living.
Sometimes, I pay her so little attention
she disappears for days at a time.
I get on with things then
secretly missing her but telling myself
it’s for the best.
And just when I think I’ve made some headway
some brilliant plan for a functioning life
she pops up and says
First, I shoot her my most awful scowl
then, I cry because
I know she’s right.
So I pick up my pen again
and with the very first word
feel every part of me click
and suddenly, again, it doesn’t matter
how this will ever make a life.
Love and courage,