Gathering more information, asking for advice and learning more and more skills can be addictive, don’t you find?
Maybe if I just listen to that one extra video, take that one extra course, ask that one other person, then I’ll get that one little snippet of something I’m missing and then I’ll be able to work everything out and solve the problem of my life.
Except it’s never satisfying, is it? It never quite gives you what you’re looking for, does it? You never feel like you get a hold of that one bit of information you’re missing. And deep down, you know why that is. You know why it never works.
It never works because you know that you’re not really looking for more information, more skills, or the piece of advice that’s going to make everything clear. What you’re really looking for, what you’ve always wanted more than anything else, is the experience of being able to go within, listen within and trust whatever you feel, see, hear, or are guided to do.
In other words, all you’ve ever really wanted is to trust yourself. Deeply.
You already know this. Each time you go looking outside of yourself instead of tuning inwards, you can actually feel how you’re moving in the wrong direction. A direction that ultimately is only going to give you more of the same dissatisfaction rather than the deep connection to and trust in yourself you’re really craving.
The crazy thing is, you already are deeply intuitive. You already are deeply connected. Everything you want is there if you’d just make time for it.
When, oh when, did you learn to mistrust yourself like this? When did you start to believe everyone else’s opinions and answers were more valid than your own? When did you start to believe you have to live life the way other people think you should? When did you start to believe that other people have the key to everything? When did you start so frantically looking to other people to figure out the right way to be?
And can you feel how this is damaging and dampening your experience of being alive? Can you feel the way it puts you on a hamster wheel of never having the experience you’re really looking for?
It’s hard. I know it’s hard. I’m speaking these words for myself as well as for you. The world in which we live right now is designed in almost every way to encourage you to look outwards and to mistrust yourself. And more than likely, these patterns of mistrust in self stem from a childhood where self-trust was neither modelled or encouraged.
To be clear, I’m not saying that asking for advice, gathering information or learning a new skill is bad or wrong. It’s not. But it is hugely unhelpful when the motivation behind doing those things is to get something that can never be found in those things.
I say all of this confidently because it is the life I have lived. On the one hand, trusting myself, always following my heart in the direction it calls me. And yet on the other hand, in a way that perhaps isn’t visible to most people, simultaneously subtly not trusting myself and therefore sabotaging and diluting so much of what I do. Always checking over my should to see if it’s ok if I do it this way, ok if I say that, ok if I think that.
Please someone, tell me I’m an ok human being! Tell me I’m worthy! Tell me it’s ok to be the way I am! These are the wounded desires in operation each time I’m tempted to turn outwards when I know what I really need is to turn inwards.
I joined a singing class recently and the lyrics to one of the beautiful songs we learned went like this:
Free like a bird
Who halting in her flight
On a limb so slight
That it gives way beneath her
But sings, sings, knowing she has wings
But sings, sings, knowing she has wings.
You, too, can sing, knowing you have wings. You too can trust yourself, trust life, trust who you are. Learning to trust yourself deeply is how we live a life that feels true and right to us. And living a life that is true and right to us is how we come alive. And coming alive is how we give back to the world.
Love and courage,
P.S. FINALLY introducing a brand new programme: Trust 26. 26 days of taking the time to turn in, tune in and trust what you see, feel, hear and are guided to from that space. 26 days of forming and deepening patterns of self-trust rather than mistrust. 26 days of connecting to the Divine Light within you and learning to trust that you can be and are guided from within. 26 days of reclaiming your power and, ultimately, reclaiming your life.
This programme, typical of so many of my programmes, offers you just enough structure to give you the freedom to tune in to your own guidance, your own creativity, and your own path. The structure comes from the 26 letters of the English alphabet. We’ll then use a combination of meditation, contemplation, writing and action (if action is what you’re guided to), to allow the messages that are designed for you, and you alone, to come through.
Find all the details and book your space here. We start on the 13th October and after a long break from programmes, I’m VERY excited. Excited to be with you, connect with you, share with you and to be in the energy of reminding one another that we can trust ourselves. Yes, even with all our quirks and insecurities and vulnerable bits!