Though it can be tempting to want to deal with someone else’s pain, fear, worry or anger, the only thing we can each do is learn to deal more and more skilfully with what is inside our own selves.
We can learn to deal more skilfully with our own pain, our own fear, our own worry, our own anger. As we get better at doing this, we become less likely to unnecessarily pass our inner pain on to others.
Dealing with our own inner pain doesn’t necessarily mean we have to do it alone. We can find willing partners to support our process – friends, therapists, groups, teachers, trees, the ocean, the birds.
Many of our personal and collective problems come from the fact that we do not know how to make a warm and welcoming space within ourselves for our fear, pain, worry and anger to show up and be seen. This is not our fault. Were you taught how to do this growing up? Me neither. But we are growing wiser and we know we must make friends with all that arises within us.
What is a peaceful world?, I ask myself. It is a world filled with peaceful people. Therefore, the only way forward has to be practicing peace within ourselves.
Love and courage,
Yes Leah, we most certainly need to care for ourselves, except ourselves, and rejoice in our uniqueness in God’s creation. It wasn’t until late in life I discovered that I was an INFJ/HSP who felt things, and perceived others emotions in a personal way. Even though I was funny and well liked, I used drugs and alcohol to lessen the fear of large gatherings, and social anxiety. It wasnt until I discovered my uniqueness (there is a small percentage of men, or women like me) and finding others like myself who share these same feelings, that I finally understood who I really was, and was meant to be.
Hello Eugene! There is something so beautiful about coming to know ourselves and accepting ourselves and, like you say, the unique ways we are made. And I appreciate hearing about your journey through drugs and alcohol to lessen the fear of things which did not come naturally to you. We are so much better for the world when we can appreciate who we are and our natural and wonderful qualities.