I silently asked every man I dated to make me happy. I placed every hope of a more fulfilled life on their shoulders. And when the happiness and fulfilment didn’t come, I found in them something lacking, turned my back and left.
I did not know then that the gap was not in them but in me. I did not know that the only thing that can fill a hole is one’s own wholeness.
With wholeness came happiness and the knowing that single or with another, joy was mine to keep.
So many years I craved a relationship. Looking back I see that my craving was not for a relationship at all, but to know myself as I truly am.
In a little moment of reflection, I recently realised that all the men I’ve dated have been such good men. Kind men. Respectful men. Thoughtful men. Generous men. And whilst they were fighting a battle they were destined to lose with me back then, I’m grateful that they tried.
Whatever your romantic or relationship status looks like, take comfort in the fact that through it all we’re all heading in the same direction – towards our own wholeness and…happiness.
Love and courage,
Leah